“How to Connect with your Father on Father’s Day like Never Before – Even though he’s very Distant”

Are you one of those people who always wanted to have a connection with your Father, but for some reason you have never been able to?  What if I tell you that I can show you how?

Would you say your dad is very distant, especially with you – or with every one?  Or maybe he talks to everyone but you. So you wonder – what’s the deal?  Why can I not connect or communicate with Dad in a closer way?

One of my very special clients wanted so much to connect with her father.  Let’s call her Susan.

Susan is now a recovering attorney turned Spiritual Teacher.  When she came to me she had already done a lot of personal growth programs, but still could not reach her dad emotionally.

Her father was a kind, quiet, hard-working man.  He was very intelligent and would readily speak of politics or civic affairs, but would never share himself personally. Sound familiar?

Later in his life he became very ill, and was not expected to live very long.  Susan was very sad as she remembered her closeness to her father up to the age of twelve.  She would follow him all around and help him do chores and repair things.  She loved it.  So did he.  When she was about twelve years of age, he made a dramatic change.  He no longer included Susan in any activities.  She longed for his connection, but to her, he was gone.  She didn’t know why.

When her dad became ill, Susan was determined to connect with him before he passed away. At first, she did what she should not do.  She traveled to his state with an expectation that HE would change.  After a few days, she shared with me that she was giving up and leaving, “as he would never connect.”

After listening to her experiences, it was clear SHE was the one who was not connecting, and she didn’t know it. Her dad was just mirroring her behavior.
I supported Susan to ‘Show Up’ and be Honest with her dad.  I asked her to do the following:

1. Experience her pure feelings.
2. Share her feelings when she creates a safe place to do so.
3. Take Responsibility for her feelings and know her feelings are about her.
4. Choose Differently – Choose Love!

Susan shared with her dad how she really felt, and her sincere desire to connect with him and know him.  Instead of leaving, Susan scheduled breakfast with her dad at his home.  When she shared what she really wanted and how sad she was that they never shared intimately – dad had tears in his eyes.  So did Susan.  He said, “This connection is all I ever wanted with you.  I just didn’t know how to do it.” Susan admitted that she also was lost and did not know how to connect.

They spent breakfast together, very intimately – honest and open with each other.  They admitted this was the first time they ever felt so close all their life.

Susan is so grateful that she made connection with her dad a priority.

She did the following:

Made a Conscious Choice to create intimacy with her dad.
She Committed to this Choice, by making time and visiting dad out of state.
She took Action! She set time aside to be with dad and to ‘Show Up’ and ‘tell the truth and allowed her dad to know her in a way she never had before.

Susan’s dad passed away a few months later.  Susan felt complete with him and was able to connect deeply and support him as he transitioned. She now feels a closeness to him that she never even imagined.

Are you willing to Allow and Create the space to Really Know your dad and allow him to Really Know You this Father’s Day?  The time is NOW!

photo credit: fallwithme