You will Create more Intimacy and Connection when in the “Present Moment”

Did you know most relationships are based on your past, and sometimes your future – which is ultimately formed by your past beliefs? Yes, we generally live in the past. Our beliefs, tapes, patterns, behaviors, are all based on what we learned long ago as children. If you have not engaged in deep personal and transformational growth, you are inevitably carrying these past tapes around as though they are true today. This is why so many couples or friends have a difficult time communicating. Each party is living in the past, and no one is present in this relationship.

Just yesterday, a client of mine, which we will name Belinda, spoke with me about her strained relationship with her mother. Both she and her mom had just recently engaged in an intense transformational program within the past month. They are both excited about improving their relationship and allowing the Love and Connection to flow between them.

During this session, Belinda shared how she caught herself going into reaction with her mother this very day. Belinda was pondering her future career with her mom. She was asking for mom’s support, when her mom asked Belinda a question, “How about ‘public speaking’ which you have really liked in the past?” Belinda became very angry, tight, and withdrawn – fearing that she (Belinda) would rage. She hated her mom questioning her. She felt her mom was, in fact, interrogating her.

Belinda focused on herself and not her mom. She had just learned to do this at this recent intensive. Why these feelings, when mom had just asked a simple question? As Belinda focused on her reaction, she realized she was not with her mom in the Present Moment, she was in her past. She was about to get angry at her mom for something that happened some 40 years ago.

Belinda was remembering when she was just a toddler. Her dad would demand that she respond to questions with perfect answers. She was expected to have answers to every question. When her mom questioned her about public speaking, she automatically returned to her past – and reacted to her dad’s demands. As a child, she was too afraid to show anger at dad – but she was feeling it now.

Belinda’s introspection led her to be aware of herself, and to share this past experience with her mom. She explained that she really appreciated her mom’s support and that she wanted to be responsible and be Present Now with her mom. They connected like never before, and are continuing to allow a deep intimate relationship between themselves.

I would love to hear your comments!

How are you in relationships? Do you allow yourself to be aware of yourself when you are in reaction – or not present in this relationship now? Are you taking responsibility by owning what is about you and your past – and coming into the Present and sharing the truth about you?

Do you trust yourself enough to share the truth about YOU and your past, and choose to change it now in this relationship that matters so much to you?

If you do not transform your past you Must Attract the Past to you – as mandated by the Spiritual “Law of Attraction.”

photo credit: Night-thing