Give your Dad the only ‘Tie’ He’ll Never Give Away

Give your Dad the only ‘Tie’ He’ll Never Give Away

“How to Connect with your Dad, on Father’s Day like Never Before”

When you think of Fathers Day, perhaps your images of your father will be one or more of the following:

  1. The Smudge-Proof Dad:  He’s a smart, hard-working, strong, fair, honorable, athletic, fun, loving and always there for me – kind of dad…
  2. The You-Don’t-Want-to-Know Dad:  Strict, unpredictable, unreasonable, raging bull who beat the you-know-what out of you ‘for your own good,’ then said, he loved you – kind of dad…
  3. The Invisible Man:  Ask about their dad and you get a blank – a blank look, a blank shrug, a blank memory bank.  You figure you have a dad because you’re here, but that’s about it.  A blank.
  4. The Potpourri Dad:  Most of you fall into this category.  That is, a ‘Mixed Combo’ of any and all of the above at one time or another.

Which of these categories do you fit in?  How would you describe your dad?  If your relationship has been empty or distant with him, would you like to change this?  For it is a commitment to transform this relationship that can free you and free him.  Perhaps this Father’s Day is a great beginning. You are the only one that can change it for you!

Whether you Love Dad or not, or feel a mixture of feelings and thoughts towards him,  I will share with you concrete ways on ‘How to Connect with him like never before.’

As a Spiritual Teacher, I have worked with many people, for many years, who have very strong feelings or thoughts about their fathers.  They have many beliefs about him and how he treated them that continue to haunt them and hold them back in every area of their life.  For most, this has been a burden they have carried for many years and it impacts on all relationships with others – their spouse, children, friends, business associates, and yes, even their relationship with money.

I am reminded of one very special client of mine.  Let’s call him Steve.  He is a very successful businessman who was a partner in a multi-million dollar enterprise when he came to me.  Although he was very “successful” in business, he had a very strained relationship with a business partner for over twenty years.  They just couldn’t get along.  Steve is a very kind person, soft spoken and sensitive.  His partner was quite outspoken and a ‘rageaholic.’ He would get very angry at any little thing.  Steve would retreat with his partner’s anger.  He didn’t understand why and didn’t know what to do about it.   He came to us committed to heal this situation and transform his life.

Steve described his partner identical to his father.  His father was a ‘rageaholic.’  Steve remembers tip-toeing at home.  He never knew when his father would ‘blow up.’  His dad would scream and get violently angry over anything.  Steve was even afraid to come home.  Mom was also afraid of Dad, so she also retreated.

As Steve began to look at himself, he realized he had re -created his father in this partner.  In order for Steve to change the situation at work, he needed to heal the challenge with his dad.  He did this by healing and transforming himself, and later approaching his dad as an Equal and Responsible person – not a son in a particular role.

The ending in this situation was magnificent!  Steve visited his father a few times and was very honest with his sharing.  Dad listened and was apologetic.  Steve was able to see the great fear in his own dad, since a very young child.  They connected like never before.  Steve’s father died a few months later.  Steve was able to visit his dad at the hospital, connect with his Heart as he crossed, and bid him a very loving and supportive transition out of the body.

In order for YOU to Create a Meaningful and Supportive Relationship with your Father, it’s important for you to Be/Do the following:

  1. Look at yourself first.  The only person you can ever change or transform is You. When you make a commitment to Love, Know and Free the ‘Real You,’ then and only then – will changes happen.  Inner transformation will reflect on the outside in all your relationships.
  2. Know that what you see Outside of you – is Inside of you. In our earlier story of Steve – he realized that he was also very angry.  He had just buried it.  He felt violated and abused by his dad and never showed up.  He buried his feeling instead, so his dad was showing Steve his own anger, as was Steve’s partner.   As Steve healed his own anger, the relationship with his dad and partner also transformed, and they were able to connect on equal levels.

Answer me this: Are you willing to ‘Have it All’ with Dad this Father’s Day?  In order to do so you must:

  1. Allow yourself to Know the Inner Truth about YOU.
  2. Do whatever it takes to ‘Heal and Transform” your relationship with YOU.
  3. Take Responsibility for your own feelings, thoughts, interpretations,
    perceptions, etc.
  4. Be very Honest and Share the Pure Truth about you with Dad.
  5. Do not Blame or Shame anyone else. Just heal you!
  6. Listen to your Dad and ask him about himself and his experiences as a child.
  7. Be Responsible in all communications with your father, for this is the only way others can be responsible with you.

Are you willing to have Life be Peaceful, Joyful and Abundant for you?

If so, this will take your Knowing, Loving and Accepting the ‘Real You’ the “Divine You.’

Are you willing?  If not now, when?

Creative Commons License photo credit: jamie_hladky



  • Dean says:

    Great article Esperanza. Hits home with me

  • Valerie says:

    Thanks for the insights and wisdom, Esperanza. I think my father was mostly the You-Don't-Want-to-Know Dad. Marine Corps officer, very strict, super high expectations, short fuse, emotionally unavailable. On top of that, because there was a war going on, he wasn't around a lot. We had a “sort of” relationship. He died in 2004 so the wonderful tools I'm learning from SOUL are helping me heal the stories of who he was to me and why things happened the way they did. I'm so grateful for how much I have released about him and I thank you for your support.

    I encourage everyone out there who wants to heal their relationship with their father or anyone else in their life to courageously embrace and implement the steps Esperanza shares here and through her workshops.
    Blessings, love and light,

  • Esperanza says:

    Valerie, it is so Special to be a part of your Spiritual Journey.  To watch you grow in your relationship with your dad this year is remarkable! You have transformed soooo much that your past hurtful memories of him no longer control.  This will definately make for your creating, attracting, and allowing, more deeply connected and intimate relationships. I Love experiencing you with a greater sense of self-love and trust of yourself and others.  2012 will be a Grand Year for You! Keep it up! Amor y Paz, Esperanza 

  • Esperanza says:

    Thank you for sharing here Dean!  As you heal your relationship with your father, all relationships will Transform. The more you allow yourself to Know and experience the ‘Real Truth’, the ‘Divine Truth,’ the more Love and Freedom you will Attract and Allow! Paz, Esperanza

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