Are You Letting Your Past Control Your Future?

Are You Letting Your Past Control Your Future?

Have you noticed how you always seem to get mad at certain people or situations?

Do you ever notice how the things you’ve experienced or felt in the past can affect your life today, and tomorrow? You may question:

How is it that our past can control our future when we’re already beyond it?

We don’t often realize that everything from our past experiences has made us the person we are today; our personal beliefs, the way we do our relationships, and even the way we do business.

It’s easy to assume that the reason we’re getting mad or upset with the person in front of us is because of something they did.

The truth is that they are merely the triggers that show us that there is something from our past coming up. The people that get us to react the strongest and the loudest are the triggers – that could show us what we need to heal from our past that is still in our way.

For example, a man – let’s call him “Bob” – who looked like a business executive dressed in a beautiful suit and tie, was waiting in line for his plane to arrive. The plane’s exceedingly long delay triggered Bob’s sudden explosive attitude towards the airline employee. He continued to angrily pound his clenched fist on the counter in front of the woman at the counter as his anger heightened to rage. He continued to yell and accuse the woman of being responsible for the delay being longer and longer. How sad it was that he chose to abuse this woman who was a stranger to him. Amidst the anger and rage, I suddenly noticed that he started looking more and more like a little boy throwing a temper tantrum.

I am sure this behavior wasn’t new to Bob, nor did it seem like it was his first time. We all learn behaviors, habits and make choices about ourselves at a very early age. Perhaps Bob had learned from his parents that anger was a way to get what he wanted or maybe he learned that going into a reaction when he was being treated unfairly would help his circumstances.

Have you ever felt out of a control in a situation? Maybe Bob had too, and this delayed airplane situation only reminded him of how helpless he must have felt which could be why he got so angry.

Feelings not dealt with and buried never die or fade away. Instead they fester, and become stronger and more ingrained. Soon they begin to run us.

Our past experiences affect all aspects of our lives, whether we realize it or not. For Bob, if he continues to lash out at people because he is being triggered by his past experiences, he will be unable to create the kind of future he wants; whether it be in relationships, business partnerships, or money.

How can we make sure that the past stays in the past and doesn’t creep into the way we live our lives today? The answer is clear!

Here are some guidelines:

  1. Remember that the current situation is resurfacing old wounds or experiences. The situations are here to help you!
  2. Glance back into your past to where the feelings may have started.
  3. Be Aware of any feelings that surface as a result of being triggered.
  4. Most importantly:  Choose to live differently!   Make supportive choices that are based on what you presently desire, not based on the pain from your past.

 

Love and Freedom,

Esperanza Universal

 

3 comments

  • Donhobbs says:

    I have met Bob on many of my travels, even more so before I became aware of, and begun to heal the anger inside me that had run me for years. The difference between me and Bob, for all those years, was Bob sounds like he was violently angry outside.  I smile over mine and was very passive in my anger, but just as deadly.  Since I have become aware of my rage inside, I make different choices in things that used to trigger me, things that reminded me of my father’s rage that I was assigning to others in my life!  Mastering Your Life made such a huge difference for me and gave me freedom I hadn’t known!  Thank you, Esperanza and S.O.U.L.  Love you all!

  • This post is very spot on. It took me decades to realize what set my fire cracker off in a situation was not the current event, but a past childhood event I needed to re-examine and learn from. I now step outside my feelings, observe, process the feedback and take a different path – a different response to the current situation in the present. Being pro-active, rather than reactive has helped me not live in anger or fear.

  • Roger says:

    Sadly, I can identify with Bob. My reactions in the past, were not as outrageous. They were more socially acceptable. But they still were reactions. And while the person in front of me at the time did something to trigger my reaction, I now realize that what my anger was about was far deeper. And it was from my past. Mastering Your Life at S.O.U.L. changed my life. It gave me tools to heal and to consciously change the cycle of recreating my painful past in my reactions.


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